Profile: Robert Benchley (with some Hodgman for good measure)

I have a quotes widget on my Google homepage, and the other day I was greeted by this as I logged on:

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Friend of Dorothy Parker, writer of things for and The New Yorker and Vanity Fair (he filled in occasionally reviewing theatre for our friend Wodehouse), wearer of pencil-thin mustache, minor movie star, and grandfather of the Jaws novelist Peter Benchley, Robert Benchley apparently thinks I'm a bore (pshaw, as if he wouldn't have had this exact same blog if he'd had the means). Anyway, I'll assume he wasn't trying to pick a fight through time with me and chalk it up to the Algonquin Hotel crowd's need to incessantly turn clever phrases.

The quote did pique my curiosity about this fellow I'd never heard of, so I did a little research on Robert Bentley. The more I learned about him, the more Benchley struck me as a kind of proto-John Hodgman. He started as a writer from the upper-right hand corner of the country in New Hampshire (Hodgman, Massachusetts), worked for the Harvard Lampoon (Hodgman, McSweeney's/The Believer) and hung out with other interesting writers like George S. Kaufman and the aforementioned Parker (Hodgman, Daniel Handler/Lemony Snicket and Amy Sedaris). Benchley then worked his way into Hollywood with various writing treatments and minor starring roles in, among other things, a series of satirical short "How To" films. Hodgman, of course, can been seen in Mac commercials, that "Bowie" episode of "Flight of the Conchords," and "Baby Mama."

Below is Benchley's explanation for why the United States found itself in the midst of the Depression. (Though maybe at that point it was simply "a depression," as the proper-nouning of things tends to happen after everything is concluded.) As the feeble-minded economist, Benchley is very "PC" and not very "Mac," don't you agree?



Some transcribed highlights, for those of you who don't like to watch old black-and-white footage. (What is it with you guys, anyway? Where does this fear come from?):

Now what were the primary causes of the "depression," as we call it? Overproduction, maladjustments in gold distribution, overproduction, deflation, too little thyroid secretion (or Platt's disease), too much vermouth, overproduction, and, by the same token, underproduction. Then, too, there was the Gulf Stream. All of these helped lead to inflation, deflation, and overproduction, with a consequent depression.

It brings to mind Hodgman's turns as Resident Expert on "The Daily Show." Here he is on our current recession:



They even use props in the same way. Hodgman's dead canary in the old-timey stock-ticker = Benchley's ambiguous graph. Eerie! Too bad about the sands of time, etc., I bet Hodgman would have fit in perfectly around that Algonquin table.

Leda and the Swan

I don't know a lot about visual art. However, I do know a good pun when I see it. Since I first laid eyes on it years ago in the Seattle Art Museum's Permanent Collection, John Covert's "Leda and the Swan" has been, without competition, my favorite painting of all time. If you're in Seattle and you get a chance to pop in SAM, it's on the third floor in the American art section.

A brief history of Leda and her bestiality: Zeus loved having all kinds of extramarital sex, and to escape Hera's watchful eyes (and her crony Argus' hundred watchful eyes), he would often sneak out disguised as an animal. In Leda's case, he came to her as a swan and either a) raped her or b) seduced her, depending on your source. The union was pretty productive: Helen and her thousand-ship-launching face was one of the results, as was Pollux. However, Pollux's twin--well, half-twin--Castor was the son not of Zeus but of Leda's husband, Tyndareus, the king of Sparta, who also fathered future murderess Clytemnestra. Hopefully everything was indeed consensual, because Leda clearly had a really busy evening (in true Greek style, they were all conceived on the same day and born/hatched on the same day nine months later).

I pulled this picture from SAM's Permanent Collection site (here are all their John Covert paintings). Covert painted his "Leda" sometime between 1915 and 1923, and even for that period, the style is stark, especially compared to his other works. The barrenness lets the pertinent details speak for themselves--her hair and her hand. Or, rather, her "hair" and her "hand."

Ha! See what Covert did, that clever bastard? It's a funny little trick at first, but the more you think about it, the more bittersweet the pun becomes. The swan has his wing stretched around her like a sleazebag trying to make a move, and Leda's eyes are downcast...does that mean she's being coy, or is she afraid?

When I go to SAM, I end up spending the most time in front of "Leda." Even after all these years and my many minutes staring at it, I haven't made up my mind if it is funny or sad. In my opinion, that's a pretty perfect joke.

Happy Yom HaAtzma'ut!

Today, May 8, is the anniversary of Israel's independence--Yom HaAtzma'ut. Israel certainly has made a big splash for such a tiny little country, and it's only turning sixty! Unfortunately, lots of those ripples have ended badly for lots of people...but a comedy blog is no place for such talk. Instead, here are some Jewish gifts for all of us to share!

Current cover of HEEB Magazine:

Ever since PCC started displaying HEEB at the check-out line, my crush on Judaism has only gotten stronger. First challah, now this? It's all a Unitarian girl can do to remain objective.

I know what you're thinking. "Rebecca," thinks you, "Everyone's sick of hearing about Jason Segel! Can't we talk about something else for a change?" I suppose, though I respectfully disagree with you. If Brandi had her way, for instance, the world would be like that scene from "Being John Malkovich" where Malkovich goes into his own head...only there'd be Segels everywhere* instead of Malkovichs. Actually, that sounds like a pretty swell time to me, too, but on to other business.

I think it's time to answer that age-old question "what would 'The Emperor's New Groove' be like in Hebrew?"



Happy birthday, Israel! Shalom!

* Flocks of them!**

** Har.